Today when I was speaking with a recent friend of mine, she is a recent addition to my life, and I even still dunno if we can call ourselves friends, but we're getting along pretty well. Anyway, today we spoke on matters of my recent life that I didn't really gave much thoughts after I surpassed the depression phase that I had after my divorce a lifetime ago, so I started thinking what if I compiled my recent life in songs From Autumn to Ashes, and this is the result...
Nay...
I deleted the rest of the post that I was making, I cannot do it, it just do not feel right, those feelings are long gone, or at least I wish they were, as I make or fake a way to push myself from that and those. As it was a really dark time of my life that it's long gone now...
Even though it was a little odd to open myself this way with someone that's also friend with someone that was the other half of me for years, I did not mind, not think actually, but honestly I do not care, as I'm not afraid, ashamed or anything like that, what I've done in my past it was a way to become what I am today.
The good that I've done, the ones that I loved, the bad that I've done, the ones that I used one way or another was intrinsic part of me, of what I am, and yes I did a lot of crappy things in my past, but I also did good, and in the matters of love, I gave all what I had to give and even more, so why should i be ashamed?
At least I tried, and though the results might not be the better ones, I did it all, and did it my way. And yes, now I know that my way may not have been the best of choices, but I didn't know different at that time, I wish I did, as I would probably done things differently, but didn't.
And now... now, why to cry over the spilled milk (yes, this Portuguese proverb rules)? It's true, what it's done it's undone, so now all I've got left is to embrace tomorrow with my head held high and not to repeat the same errors that I've done. But that do not exonerate me from making new ones, but gives me the experience to recognize and avoid the ones that I've done in the past.
That's life, living and learning, making errors and making amends, or at least try do do them, but always try. And that is what I've done with this post, it was to be a post full with music and now it's just some Reflections, Recounts and Recollections, so what? At least I tried...
I felt you slip away
Far away from me
Further from me
I felt you slip, away
Caught myself, wishing you back,
As I try to catch you
Anger swells inside me
I see me, frowning, in your eyes
(I see the fear in you, where no one should ever be, I'm here for you, as I try, to guide through)
I see my reflection
And the pain, inside me,
As I find...
As I try, catch you
From
Everything hurts me less and less until I feel nothing!
Anger swells inside me
I see me, frowning in your eyes
Slip away
Far away from me
Further from me
You seem to drift far away
Caught myself wishing you back
As I try
(let's go!)
She said, it's not that, I don't love you anymore, it would be so much more accurate to say, I never loved you in the first place,
Never in the first place,
I put the fear you should ever be
Nothing to me, everything you
Nothing to me, everything you
Nothing to me, everything you
Nothing to me, everything you
(I can't take it anymore when I'm with you I feel like I'm nothing, I feel like I'm nothing, that's why I don't like it when you touch me, that's why I never touch you, that's why I never even think about you, 'cause when I start it reminds me that I'm just not good enough)
You're nothing to me
You're nothing to me
You're nothing to me
You're nothing to me
This is a progression
And you would prefer
The obsolete so leave
Expired
Make room for shorter teeth
You caught me
Sulking and feeling sorry
But this boy
This boy has everything
This boy
This boy has everything he needs
Give yourself over to time and decay
Caged by the freeway
This a progression
You would prefer
The obsolete so leave
Give your self over to time
And decay
And decay
Give yourself over to time
A worse negation of life then death
Is that you'll never want what you get
But failing is just as sweet as success
I've tried them both
And have no preference
So open your eyes and scan the horizon
Pick a direction and don't stop driving
Recounts and recollections
Arguments and objections
Make a connection
Open your eye lid
Scan the horizon
Waking to dream with the brave and defiant
Give yourself over to time and decay
Caged by the freeway
This is a progression
You would prefer
The obsolete
So leave
Give yourself over to time
And decay
And decay
Give yourself over
My self motivation
This scar this badge of honor
My self motivation
This scar this badge of honor
My self motivation
This scar this badge of honor
My self motivation
Is here
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